Children’s impoliteness and rude behavior can often be a good sign
These days, the relationship of most parents with their children is significantly different from the parent-child relationship of the past decades; The changes that are said to be in the direction of child-centered parenting and, of course, provoked the criticism of many parents who do not give orders, do not punish their children and prefer to enter into a conversation with them; Because they believe that the children of this generation are selfish, rude, spoiled and rude! But in my opinion, these changes, even these words and behaviors that seem impolite, are a good sign; Because it shows that these children feel safe with their parents and trust their love and support, and this feeling of security is actually showing itself in boldness, determination, reasoning and expression of opinion, you will understand what I mean better in the following.
The reason why the child, without exception, always behaves respectfully and obeys his parents unconditionally, is not only the child’s politeness, but also indicates the great fear and terror in him. Authoritarian parents raise submissive and obedient children, polite and strictly ironed, bound to the framework! These polite, companionable, oppressed and free-spirited children are constantly involved in the judgment of others as adults, they are all afraid that others will judge them badly, they constantly need approval and credit from others. These children hate their parents and their ability to regulate and manage their emotions is extremely low!
Interestingly, parents who imagine themselves as a commander, their child as a soldier, and the home environment as a barracks, would very much like their child to be raised independently so that they can take care of themselves in the future, under the burden of force. Don’t know and have the ability to think creatively and outside the framework; Unfortunately, their upbringing method has the opposite effect and when these children leave the barracks of their homes and enter the society, they do not know how to stand on their own, think alone and make decisions for their lives. In other words, maybe in the short term, your child may seem more polite and well-behaved, but don’t doubt that this child has suffered a lot of damage, which will cause him to experience a lot of suffering in the future in facing the challenges of his life.
Therefore, if you want to raise a child who knows himself correctly and believes in his abilities, you must treat him with respect from the very beginning of his childhood and show him that his opinions and beliefs are important to you, even if they are different from yours. OK. But this respect doesn’t mean that you don’t define any rules, limits or frameworks for children and be very easy-going.
Parenting that is too easy, just like the authoritarian method, causes a lot of damage to children and leads to self-centeredness and selfishness of that child. Children should learn that their behavior has consequences, that is, what exactly should be done? You should be able to explain your expectations to the children with reason and logic, set specific limits and boundaries for them so that they know that after a mutual agreement, there will be no room for arguments. For example, in relation to the use of a tablet, explain to him the reasons for your opposition to continuous use of this device and finally clearly inform him how much and at what time of the day he can use it and under no legal conditions that have been announced. He did not see the change.
In other words, you need a balanced approach to raising healthy children; In the sense that, while setting limits, be willing to negotiate rationally, listen to their words and arguments, give credit to their emotions, and treat them in a sincere, warm and respectful manner.
In this way, your children will no longer be afraid of challenging and questioning your opinions and rules, they will safely go to discover the world and face its challenges, they will create a unique identity and they will be the ones who hear words from them that maybe others, Interpret it as being rude or arrogant; But the child who stares straight into his grandfather’s eyes and says “You shouldn’t talk with your mouth full” actually feels safe; Because he knows that no matter what, even if he makes a mistake, he is still loved and accepted by his parents.
