Let the children learn to argue from you
Even though it is a vital skill to have the ability to discuss without getting out of control or personalizing the issue in life, most parents do not teach this essential issue to their children. Most parents think that the “safety” of the home environment means a space free of discussion! For this reason, they prevent fights between themselves and their spouses, as well as siblings, and they constantly teach them that if they disagree with someone, it is better to keep their mouth shut or try to resolve the existing differences with others. , dedicated to behind closed doors. Whereas, if children do not face conflict, discussion and challenge, their emotional intelligence will drop drastically.
Children should understand the value of discussion that is formed from thinking. So teach them that disagreeing is never disrespectful. Teach them that if they remain silent in the face of other people’s opinions, they are actually taking away the right to have a civilized conversation from the other side and disrespecting their own opinion and voice. Teach them that challenging the other party’s idea means giving importance to the other party, and this is nothing but respect.
By observing the discussion between their parents, children learn that they can have their own way of thinking, they realize that the exclusive privilege of reality is not in the hands of any authority. They learn to increase their tolerance for ambiguity and do not stop thinking until the truth is confirmed. They learn to rely on their own independent judgment instead of blindly following the opinions of others.
If we rarely face conflict, we learn to run away as soon as we smell a threat. At the same time, watching the discussion and participating in it helps us grow thicker skin, gain the will to fight against difficult challenges and overcome them, and learn to face the challenges of tomorrow if we lose the battle today. Do not miss
In addition, if no one ever expresses their opposition, neither the old ways and habits will be discarded, nor will anyone be willing to try a new solution. The skill of expressing differences of opinion is the antidote to being swayed and influenced by the collective opinion. Our imagination is at its strongest when we go against the flow, and there is no better time to learn this skill than in childhood.
A research that was conducted on children between the ages of 5 and 7 for three years, the results of this research showed that children whose parents know how to properly manage a disagreement and have a purposeful discussion are more emotionally secure, and these children show more empathy and attention. They showed themselves to others and in school, they were more friendly with their classmates.
Never forget this sentence; Creativity flourishes in a tense but safe environment. Safe means a family that may stumble along the way, but will never fall apart! If children do not learn to stumble, they will never walk; rather, they stand motionless until the end for fear of falling down. So instead of avoiding discussion or hiding it, learn to discuss healthy and pass it on to your children. Start with these four rules:
- See arguing as just a disagreement, not as a subversive conflict
- Argue as if you are right and listen as if you are wrong.
- Have the most respectful interpretation possible about your other party’s point of view.
- Embrace the parts you agree with and the things you learned from the discussion.
