Can children’s lying be a concern?
Almost all children, in all cultures, begin to lie by the age of seven, with the aim of strengthening their brain’s abilities. Therefore, this issue is not alarming or indicates that your child will become a thief and delinquent in the future. Children’s motivation to lie is generally things like avoiding punishment and blame, showing themselves better or making others feel good. But if this lying, in children under seven years of age, is accompanied by aggressive behavior, humiliation of others and resistance to requests, make sure to prioritize referring to a child psychologist. Now, for a better understanding of the issue and to understand the correct way of dealing with this behavior, please read the rest of the article.
Do not overreact and control your anger. Blame and punishment do not work at all in this situation; because it increases the child’s guilt and fear of you, and this itself leads to an increase in lying behavior. Point out to Josh, completely neutral, the inconsistencies in his story. For example, if your child claims that he has not eaten chocolate while his whole face is covered with chocolate traces; Tell him: “How strange, but there are chocolates stuck around your mouth, how do you think these chocolates got to your mouth?” Let’s go in front of the mirror and take a look at your face.” But if your child has an anxious mood and you are likely to be scared by hearing the same questioning way, use sentences like this: “I want to know the truth about the story of chocolates, so let’s discover it together.”
A very important point is to discover the cause and motive of lying. For example, if your child tells his teacher that his parents died; be sure to ask him for an explanation in a suitable situation and try to find the main motivation among the explanations you hear and then teach your child to give healthier reactions and answers to his problems. In fact, this event is a very good opportunity to work on the skills of acceptance and management of unpleasant emotions with your child so that in the future, he will have a more equipped toolbox to face his problems.
According to numerous researches and experiments conducted in this field, praising honesty is much more effective than punishing lies. For example, in a study conducted in 2018, researchers told classic stories about honesty to children between the ages of 3 and 7 to check whether the type of story can inspire children to choose honesty.
Finally, the only story that encouraged the children to tell the truth was the story that after the child confesses the truth, his father forgives and encourages him for telling the truth. On the other hand, hearing that the liar’s nose gets longer and at the end of the story, he becomes a prey to wolves, did not have such an effect. Therefore, in situations where the child is being honest, be sure to encourage him.
