Your young children will completely understand your depression
Depression in parents is not a new problem, but its prevalence has quadrupled due to the conditions caused by Corona! This disorder, depending on its persistence and severity, creates risks for your children, why? Because the symptoms of depression, such as fatigue, irritability, low concentration, lack of interest and lack of motivation towards daily activities, do not allow to take care of parenting duties and to interact continuously and patiently with children.
Nevertheless, if you see the symptoms of depression in yourself, there is no reason to be ashamed of them, in fact, the feeling of shame is one of the important problems that make the recovery process difficult; because it creates an obstacle in the way of asking for help. At the same time, getting help from a specialist is the most useful thing that any depressed parent can do for their child. So don’t try to hide your condition.
It is very difficult for children to understand the conditions that arise as a result of depression; This issue increases the importance of clear communication between parents and children. Children understand that there is something wrong with the work! For this reason, if someone does not explain the situation to them, they interpret the situation as worse than what it really is. Worse than that, they blame themselves for their mother’s or father’s depression.
Also, avoiding talking about mental health issues sends the message to kids that these topics are taboo and should never be talked about! While, one of the most important measures to prevent the development of psychological problems in children and adolescents is to provide a space where they can express themselves and share the feelings they experience with their parents with a feeling of peace and comfort. So instead of avoiding this conversation, your method should be an honest conversation appropriate to your child’s age; A five-year-old child does not understand the concept of depression, but he understands emotions such as sadness or physical diseases such as stomach ache; So, by explaining the topic, using simple words and relevant examples, you can inform them as much as you need about your situation.
Remember, by explaining the steps you took to manage the situation, show them that depression will improve with proper treatment and that the situation is under your control. Of course, being under control does not mean that the problem is solved; But it shows that a detailed plan for improvement is underway. For example, if you are suffering from postpartum depression after the birth of your second child, stop saying casual statements like “No, mom is not sad, she is just tired” and replace these words with: “Mom has a disease that causes Sometimes he gets sad, but he is going to the doctor to help him get better; Like you who take medicine to heal your pain, my doctor also gave me medicine that makes things better.”
And here is the important point: be careful not to fall off the canvas when giving information to children; Children, whatever their age, are not supposed to take on the role of your therapist and psychiatrist, to be aware of all your sadness and fears, or to take care of you. They just need to be aware of what is happening around them so that they don’t suffer from fear and self-blame; all your sentences should be aimed at presenting a message that touches the hearts of children, respecting this limit is very important! Because children are not responsible for taking care of their parents.
